i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
