just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
