Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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