Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Let's get the cat blown out
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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