you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
