There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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