You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
