Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
