Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
