Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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