one might say we're banned from that church
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
