as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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