Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
