Sponge bath it is.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
