You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
