is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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