Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize