good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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