hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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