I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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