she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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