Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
this boner is exhausting
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
