Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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