I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
