Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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