We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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