He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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