The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
