Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
