we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
