Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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