He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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