im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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