Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
