420 ftw
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize