Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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