I'm really into asian looking animals
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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