some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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