i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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