You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
