after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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