I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
