You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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