yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
