I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
