worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
