He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
