I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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