I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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