What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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