Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
