She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
