you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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