my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize