How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
