Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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