I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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