Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
