This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
