You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
