a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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