Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So squirting runs in the family.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
